Friday, August 03, 2012

Why We do What We Do....

This post was written in response to the  image, and to a conversation it sparked on a friend's Facebook wall. What I posted is a fairly good summary of why we choose to parent and live as we do, so I brought it here. 

For me, it's a question of what I want for my children, and what is the most effective way to go about trying to give them that.

That they develop, practice, and trust their own sense of judgement is much more important that they be obedient (actually, it pretty much precludes that they be obedient, or that we ask them to be).

That we know, trust, and like each other enough to listen to and learn from one another is far more important to me than that my children listen to and respect me simply because I am their parent. I want them to be able to trust me when I really need them to, when what I am going to tell them is something I need them to take on faith. 

Exiling them and withdrawing my love when they make mistakes doesn't help my purpose - it gets in the way.

That they are confident and competent enough to make their own choices, and to learn what they need to know in order to make them, and that they develop their own ethical and moral senses, is far more important to me than that they are under my control, and listen to authority or propaganda of any type without considering it logically and critically.

What we do today affects our childrens' lives forever. Damage can be caused that can't be seen. I know.

Lastly, time-outs, spankings, groundings, and the like may be part of some Christian traditions, but they don't strike me as being at all Christlike.

No comments: